There is something to be said about an outhouse. It has been used for centuries, and in all of that time, it has served its intended purpose well. The simplicity of its design has made it ideal in several cultures and in almost any location. And there is little, if anything, to break down... except the deposits that nature takes care of in due course. More is the pity that modern technology has replaced the efficient operation of the outhouse.
Sadly, we now have modern conveniences that are susceptible to failure. When we returned for the winter to Florida, we noticed that the toilet in the main bathroom was leaking. That toilet, though a Kohler, had given us trouble since Day One. It had a tendency to continue to run water through it at a slow trickle even after the flush was complete. Rick has replaced every internal component in the tank more than once to try to solve that problem.
Since the toilet was leaking, we had no choice but to take it up and to replace the wax ring. This we did a couple of weeks ago, noting that the floor under the toilet was not level, and that the opening to the drain was not the standard, modern size. A wax ring barely fit where the seal should go.
While the first install after our remodeling last year had required a shim in the back, when we replaced the ring and re-seated the toilet in November, it seemed to settle in well. However, within the last couple of weeks, Rick had noticed that moisture seemed to be seeping into the floor around the toilet. So yesterday, he took the toilet up again.
Rick had purchased two new wax rings since we knew we would need both an inner and an outer ring to make the seal work correctly. Now keep in mind that Rick still has a very sore hand that is still healing after his surgery, and that the space in the bathroom is really too small for me to fit in to help him lift the toilet out. So the job that should have taken only half an hour began.
After draining the toilet and lifting it out, cleaning up the old wax, and mopping up the wet floor, we added a small fan to the mix to try to dry out the floor. Rick actually took a small cleaning sponge and some CermaBright ceramic stovetop cleaner to get some of the stains out of the terrazzo floor. After the floor dried, he put the toilet back down.
It did not seal. Crap! (Excuse the pun.) Back to the store for more wax rings. Up came the toilet for the second time. Clean off the wax rings that did not work. Open the packages, and put on the new wax rings. Lift the toilet back into place. Thankfully, this time, the toilet seemed to seal, but it rocked a bit. I questioned whether it was set, so Rick got mad and pulled it up again. It actually HAD been sealed, but now the seal was broken. We needed more wax rings. Back to the store for more rings.
After he put the toilet down for the third time, it seemed to seal and be set. This one was going to work.
Rick tightened down the bolts, and then he turned on the water to refill the tank. Suddenly, he heard the sound of porcelain splitting. As the water added weight to the toilet, the bolts in the base were too tight, and on the uneven floor, the base split. $#!*! We were back to Square One.
Keep in mind that Rick has installed at least eight new toilets and has taken up and put back down those toilets four or five times more as we remodeled bathrooms. He has never over-tightened the bolts nor cracked a toilet... until now.
This time the trip to the store was not only for more wax rings, but also for a new Kohler toilet. While neither of us were particularly sorry to see the toilet go, neither of us wanted to spend the money right now for a new toilet either. Plus the new toilet was both awkwardly boxed and heavy!
We maneuvered it into the car (thank God for SUVs) and then into the house. Then Rick had to drain the toilet once again, lift it out, transport it to the garage, and bring the new toilet in. New wax rings went down, and Rick installed the new base. By this time, I could not bear to watch the process. I was done with the whole thing and told Rick to just give up for the day. We had another functioning bathroom, and I could not care less if we ever got this second toilet reinstalled.
However, Rick was not going to give up. He finally got the new base installed and the new tank attached. He needed shims in the back because the floor really is not level, and in the end the double wax rings seem to have everything sealed.
I don't have the heart to go and inspect it too closely, and I have to admit that I have not used the new toilet at all. I am just done with plumbing in this house for a while. We still have to dispose of the old toilet, and since the base is cracked, we cannot just take this one to the Magic Curb for someone else to haul away. We'll have to dispose of this one properly.
So Rick took most of the day to fix a leaking toilet. It took about 10 wax rings to do so, much more stress than his hand should have encountered, and enough frustration to last a lifetime.
And in the end, I think that the ancients had the right idea. Dig a hole, do what needs to be done, and let nature biodegrade the results. And if things do not disintegrate quickly enough, add dirt on top, and move over a few yards to dig a new hole. There is something to be said about an outhouse.
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